


a master's leash

by repoughts



Series: all I find in you [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternative Universe - Mafia, Angst, Blood and Gore, Dark!Mark, Dependency, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29237352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/repoughts/pseuds/repoughts
Summary: “If I said I no longer want you to protect me, what would you do?” Mark’s voice breaks the silence.It’s  barely above a whisper but the words struck Jackson at his core, making the sleepiness disappear from his body faster than a bullet speeding towards its target. He turns in Mark’s arms, eyes searching the American’s face. All the years he spent at Mark’s side and right now he cannot read what’s written in his eyes.-----a sort of 'what if' musing on the relationship between Mark and Jackson had certain things were different
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Series: all I find in you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130660
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	a master's leash

**Author's Note:**

> please, please, please read the tags first - they are here for a reason
> 
> this is..... well, there was many endings to my previous fic and i wondered which one i should use. In the end happiness for both boys won but in case it didn't i had this stashed away
> 
> this fic will only make sense if you've read "the heart of the dog." picks up right after they settled in the bed

It should be awkward, this moment after they’ve found release and the niceties of cleanup has been dealt with. It should be different between them, other than Mark curling around Jackson’s form, hand resting on his hip as they lay on their sides, front to back, hidden under the sheets.

It feels good. It feels weird. Like intimacy and trust and nothing that Mark should be doing with a man who acts as his shield, but Jackson doesn’t want it to stop. Whether it be now or in the future he will always be content with the things Mark decides to give him, will always be thankful for his time, his closeness.

They lay like that until Jackson’s eyelids grow heavy, until his mind starts growing lazy and unaware of his surroundings, until his body feels like it’s sinking into the sheets. Comforted by the warmth of Mark’s body, the lazy touch at his hip bone.

“If I said I no longer want you to protect me, what would you do?” Mark’s voice breaks the silence. 

It’s barely above a whisper but the words struck Jackson at his core, making the sleepiness disappear from his body faster than a bullet speeding towards its target. He turns in Mark’s arms, eyes searching the American’s face. All the years he spent at Mark’s side and right now he cannot read what’s written in his eyes. 

_Please don’t leave me._

Mark’s gaze is studying him carefully, every movement of his eyelashes, every rise and fall of his chest. Jackson’s hands feel sweaty, a wave of cold hitting him, running down his spine and he needs to count in the number of seconds he breathes in, breathes out, trying to hide the fear crawling over his shoulders. He knew deep down that one day Mark will find someone better, someone whose body is more capable, someone who bears less scars and responds faster to the threats of his life.

“I’d do as you say.” He says steadily, though he feels anything but. Right now a mere breeze could make Jackson fall to his knees. 

“But?” Mark prompts, moving his fingers to curl at the side of Jackson's face, thumb smoothing at the skin of his cheekbone. The American’s eyes never leave his own and Jackson feels trapped, feels like he’s stuck in a room with no exits,. Nothing but the walls closing around him.

“It would break me.” The words are no more than a breath he lets out, yet Mark still hears them. He sits up on the bed pulling Jackson along with him until they’re kneeling on the mattress, naked and exposed in the bedroom air. Mark grabs his hand hanging limply at his side, interlocks their fingers as he brings it up to kiss Jackson’s knuckles.

“Do you trust me?” he mouths into the skin there.

“With my life,” Jackson responds and tries to brace himself for Mark’s next words.

“Jackson, baby, you cannot protect me anymore."

A bucket of cold water dumped over his head. An icy cold bite of wind without the protection of clothing. A bullet entering his body burning flesh and blood as it worms itself into his body, bringing devastation to his nerves and his bones. All that Jackson has lived through. But he doesn't think he’ll be able to live on after hearing Mark’s words.

There’s a tightness encompassing his chest, a band so tight and painful he cannot draw breath, the crawling of fear is no longer a skittering of small spiders on his back but an endless, dark depth of the water surrounding him from every side.

_Please don’t leave me, please don’t let me go._

No matter how hard he would have tried, Jackson could never prepare himself for Mark’s words.

“You don’t need me?” He asks. His lips move but he’s not sure he actually makes any sound, cannot hear them over the ringing in his ears that grows louder and louder with each passing second. Tears well up in his eyes, but he tries to blink their burn away, succeeds only in making them fall against his cheeks, against Mark’s skin.

“I don’t understand." And his brain is screaming all that his mouth refuses to say. 

_Please don’t leave me, please don’t let me go. I will do anything for you, I will become anyone for you. Please don’t leave me, not you too._

Jackson jumps from the bed, needing to run needing to get away and it doesn’t matter that his legs are buckling under him, doesn’t matter that he’s naked and doesn’t know where to go. Where else would be safe but by Mark’s side?

He hits the edge of the bed, stumbles and drops on the floor, hands barely coming up to catch him before his face hits the floor. 

_He lifts one of them up, fixing the shades that slid down his nose. His fingers are covered in some sort of liquid, thick and inky black, He lifts his gaze from his fingers and sees the bodies of his family laying in pools of crimson blood, striking against the cream color of the hotel carpets._

_A sob leaves his chest, and he moves backwards, hits the bed again only to turn his head and see his father’s face, mouth open in a grimace of pain and a bullet wound in the middle of his forehead._

_No. No, no, no, no, nonono-_

Jackson screams.

Mark is sitting in the bed, calmly watching the young man break to pieces in front of him and his eyes darken. He stands up, gathering the sheets around himself before he moves around the bed to kneel at Jackson’s side. Putting his hands at either side of Jackson’s face, Mark holds the younger man still as he forces him to meet his gaze but Jackson’s eyes are unseeing, wide and rapidly glancing to each side. Seeing ghosts that aren’t there, looking for danger lurking in the shadows. Chest heaving with breaths that supply him no air. 

“I’m here Jiāěr,” Mark speaks softly, leaning up to kiss Jackson’s forehead, stroking his hair gently and his fingers tangle in locks matted with cold sweat, “come back to me.” 

He presses Jackson against his chest, arms coming round to encircle his form as he shushes the man in his arms softly. Humming, petting his hair. It takes time before Jackson’s breathing returns to normal, takes time for him to blink his eyes and realize that what he was seeing isn’t real. He stirs in Mark’s hands. He pulls away slightly, lifts his head so he can meet Mark’s eyes. 

"Whom did you grant your loyalty?" Mark asks slow, yet demanding making sure each word gets through the lasting haze of Jackson’s panic. 

"You." 

Mark nods, satisfied with the answer. His hand tucks a wild strand behind Jackson’s ear, patting softly the side of his head. 

“Your body?” The American continues, thumb brushing lightly over dry streaks of tears on Jackson’s cheekbone and his gaze falls to the red lips of his lover.

“You,” Jackson repeats once more. He shivers, body responding to the coldness of the floor on his naked skin and air around him, but he makes no move to stand up. So long as Mark is with him it doesn’t matter what discomfort his body is in.

"And your heart?" Mark asks lastly, hands flexing around Jackson’s shoulders.

"You."

A smile blooms on Mark’s face, gentle and loving. 

“You’re mine, baby. My gaga, my Jackson. My beautiful, brave Jiāěr,” the elder man says, pressing his lips over the slope of Jackson’s nose, the arch of his brows, the curve of his lips, peppering little kisses all over the younger’s skin. 

Jackson feels like he can’t breathe again but it’s different this time. 

While his panic feels like being crushed, like his lungs curling in on themselves and becoming smaller, so small there is no air for him to take in, this feels like his chest is expanding. Endless. Boundless. There is so much air rushing in his body cannot accommodate it, doesn’t know what to do with it. 

“Yours,” he agrees, closing his eyes in bliss as he feels Mark’s lips moving over his face. He leans into the American’s arms exhausted and drained, but he feels safe in Mark’s arms. Knows he can let his guard down near him. 

“You need to be with me Jackson, you need to stay by my side,” Mark’s hand slides down Jackson’s face, cradles the younger’s jaw in his palm, and Jackson cannot do anything else but turn into it. He cannot deny himself the comfort of Mark’s touch, his warmth. His words. “You can’t leave me, baby.”

“I won’t,” he whispers, looking up into Mark’s eyes again, “I’ll always be with you.”

“I need you so much, baby” Mark breathes against his lips and something settles deep within Jackson’s chest, a weight comfortable and warm, as their lips connect.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah... so what's up with you guys?


End file.
